Bootylicious

I have been searching high and low for the last two years for the perfect pair of black boots. I'm not looking for a fling, I want the real thing, my boot soulmate. And like the perfect man, the perfect pair of boots has a list as long as your arm of necessary attributes.

5'11" Denim-wearing brunette seeks boots, for walking, dancing and high-kicking. Would like to meet:
Black leather, NO exceptions; suede acceptable, patent definately not. Ankle height, preferably no elastic panels and no statement zips or embellishing. Plain in nature, no laces, buckles or fastenings. Slightly 90s if possible, round-square toe preferred but is willing to meet alternatives. Heel vital - chunky, stilettos not welcome here, although not too high. Ideally will allow daytime weraring but ability to lend themselves to a night out is welcomed. Must withstand clumsy nature of wearer and English weather.


So, okay, I think I might have found my soul-boot.

Dr Marten 8240 eBay

Okay, they mightn't look like much to you, but my heart skipped a beat when I saw them. You know when something is just exactly what you have been searching for? And then I saw the size. Two sizes too small. Lady Fate is a sadist, dangling the perfect pair of boots in front of my eyes, only to take them away. Every time I look in the mirror now I imagine how these boots would look with what I am wearing, meaning that all my other shoes are now not quite good enough. So now, not only do I not have these boots, all my other shoes are inadequate. Thanks eBay, I have no shoes.